Our deepest fear isn't that we're inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we're powerful beyond measure

Sunday, May 31, 2009

PST The New Monster

PST = Pre Service Training

It's the new monster I dread facing. There is always some impending doom. First completing the application essay, seemed like a mountain and is definitely a mole hill in retrospect. Then will I ever, ever, ever complete my medical packet, while quite the task (that I'm still paying for) when it's done it's done. There are many imminent tasks that all seem more intimidating than the next that have arisen during this process, but I promise, PST seems like the mother of them all!!

PST includes the three months were I will be going through 12 days of extensive training in Ecuador. I will be living with a host family, speaking Spanish to the best of my ability, eating whatever is served up and sleeping wherever I am told! IF by the end of those three months the Peace Corps trainers feel that I am not a fit for the assignment due to my language, technical skills, attitude...a seemingly endless list of reasons why... then I will not be sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Can you believe it!? After all of this I STILL could be send home. I don't hear people making that big of a deal about their swearing in moment, but THAT is going to be one shining moment for me (if/when I make it)!

I know, I know, how dare I speak death and negativity over my situation. I have the heart, drive and determination to tackle whatever is put in front of me, but I do get a weeeee bit nervous over the fact that I took on the task of "learning a new language" as if it was similar to learning to ride a bike. Hey, maybe it is. Except for the fact that if you can't ride a bike, you can still ask for help, get directed to the nearest bathroom, get something to eat, tell you host family you appreciate their hospitality, express...well whatever... it's done now isn't it? lol.

Better get back to studying!!

2 comments:

Mica Clark-Peterek said...

Don't let PST freak you out! Seriously! As long as you have "heart, drive, and determination to tackle whatever" is put in front of you then you will be fine! You can do this!

Sunshine Builder Freedom Dancer said...

OMG! Thank you so much. Do you know I just realized you served me up my own words!? Ouch :) It is true. Full steam ahead. Thank you for the kind words of encouragement (even if some where my very own ;op)

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