Our deepest fear isn't that we're inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we're powerful beyond measure

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Coincidence?...I think not..

January 28, 2009

Log into my email and have a message from Peace Corps "Status Update". Why, I didn't expect another one of those for another 3 months or so! I was thinking any news at this time is not good news. Well, it turns out that I have Medical HOLD on my account. The caption says something about it's gone under review and a hold as been placed on my account until I'm cleared. That is actually good news because that means that those nurses that hadn't so much as picked up my file, now are reviewing it. Is it a coincidence that they start reviewing my file Days after I called? Have I now put a "rush" on the process? I was feeling good that I had nothing but time before they started looking at my medical stuff. On the other hand, since I am going to be leaving LA, if they need anything from my doctor it would be way easier to handle that stuff while I'm here.

This starts making the wheels in my head churn again with visions of an earlier departure and possibly a Spanish speaking territory. I happened upon a great little site that had departure dates for different countries, but I wasn't sure of the source so I didn't know how accurate it was. I'm so going to try to find that site again and see what leaves when...

That's another point for Missouri, the sooner I go home, the sooner I can start getting my financial situation squared away so an earlier departure could be possible... Only time will tell...

Monday, January 26, 2009

Homeward Bound

January 26, 2009

So I made the decision to take this party to back to my homeland, Missouri.

Now Peace Corps strongly advises you not to make any real life decisions before getting an invitation...and I can honestly say I don't think I would be doing this if I weren't planning on taking a 2 year trip out of the country. I've been praying about it though, so maybe I would be going to Missouri no matter what right now...but I highly doubt it.

With losing my job back on Oct and not getting anything in the meantime, I now have real debt. I never had debt, debt before and I desperately want everything squared away before my departure! I'll be over 30 when I return and I need my financial life to be on the up and up.

So that's a major life decision that I didn't even see coming at the beginning of January...but it makes total and complete sense. Just trying to surrender and go where I'm being (divinely) lead.

Keeping it Peace Corps... I called OMS just to see what my clearance schedule was looking like. At first I couldn't get anyone to tell me the status of my file. The people at the front desk would answer my call....get my SSN# and then forward me to someone else and then I would always dead end at someone's voicemail. I started to get freaked out. I even asked the people that answered the phone initially what were they seeing on my file that they couldn't just tell me that I had to forwarded to someone else...which they would inform me...that they couldn't say that so and so and ext xyz had to tell me....arg...So that was frustrating. It only took one day of diligence though to finally get someone. The conclusion simply was that since my departure date is not until Fall '09 they reported they have not even looked at my medical file. So great. I have plenty of time. I really think this is all going to work out for the best!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Change is gonna come...oooohhh yes it wwwiiilllll...

January 20, 2009

From the words of Sam Cooke to the ideals of Obama...Change is what we are talkin about and being about these days (Especially TODAY!! PRAISE GOD!). Change is inevitable, always had been always will be, and boy am I facing a huge change right now. Remember this is the Peace Corps blog so I try to keep it strictly PC :o) So when we last left off in 2008, I was teaching dance and just looking to secure one to two more part time positions. Yeah, well thanks economy for being in recession, I can't get a silly gig anywhere! Since I teach after school, being unavailable from 1-4 really messes things up.

I've gotten to the point where I'm dying waiting to hear back from coffee shops! I mean seriously? This is where we are? After some self reflection and evaluation...I realized, if I'm gonna be working at coffee shops (Which there is nothing wrong with), I can be working at Starbucks...in Missouri, and not paying for rent and really kick of initiative: Pay off Debt to be free to go to Peace Corps.

Now it's not that easy. Going back to Missouri...would really be...going.back. I haven't lived back home since I graduated from college. LA has been my home for the past four...almost five years! It's really hard to wrap my mind around. I also NEVER really thought that I would be almost 30 going to live back home. So I have a lot to chew on.

The math is...made no money in December, don't get paid a dime till the end of January = 2 months absolutely NO.Money. Divided by the deal my landlord gave me discounting my rent and my still struggling = girl you gots to go.

No why not live with my ride or die friends who would do anything for me? Well that's the toss up, but, at this point...what is LA giving me? I can't afford to take my favorite dance classes anymore and all of my time is spend either stressing about or looking for work.

The longer I stay here, the longer I am using my "emergency" credit card... putting myself further into debt instead of getting out! Also take into account that my father is about to disown me over the whole thing...staying here is seeming less and less like the thing to do.

Have I notified the Missouri crew I'm rollin threw? Absolutely not...soooo that's something to do...
Have I told my current employer that I realize I can no longer live on peanuts (even though I would if I could)..Nope!
Have I even really made up my mind completely? Nah, but the numbers don't lie...I'm just in denial
Do I know without a shadow of a doubt I'll get work in MO....not beyond a doubt..but I do have some leads...

I think most of my resistance comes in when thinking of what a big CHANGE it would be. I'm not good with change, especially change of this proportion. Why do you care? Well, this has everything to do with the Peace Corps. There is no way I would consider moving if I wasn't an nominee for August. It's just a gamble because what if I don't get an invite? Then what?

So many things. At the end of the day, I don't think I can go wrong with getting out of debt...doing a Missouri tour...(I can then visit my KC people, Chi-town people, Columbia folks and of course STL peeps)... and then re-evaluating from there.

The only status updates I have gotten was a letter stating I'm dentally cleared and that my medical packet is under review. The sooner I can pay everything off...the sooner I can accept a call with an earlier departure if that comes a-knockin!

These next two months are going to be interesting indeed...

He Had Me At Lift Ever Voice and Sing...

God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou who has brought us thus far along the way, thou who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path, we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee. Shadowed beneath thy hand may we forever stand -- true to thee, O God, and true to our native land.

We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day. We pray now, O Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant, Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration. He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national and, indeed, the global fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hand, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations. Our faith does not shrink, though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.

For we know that, Lord, you're able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor or the least of these and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.

We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that, yes, we can work together to achieve a more perfect union. And while we have sown the seeds of greed -- the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.

And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.

And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.
Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little, angelic Sasha and Malia.

We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.

Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.
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