#15 Dolla Holla y Montñas

So an ick thing about the city is the potential for crime. However, there are definite ways to keep yourself safe and minimize the loss if anything does happen. For us ladies, what was suggested to us, is keeping our phones and money in our bras. Now if my grandma was reading this, she’d be like, “That old trick?” but hey, it’s our survival skill. Now do I like doing this? Not at all. I don’t like having a phone that close to my body at all with all of it’s harmful waves, and if you have never tried to pay for something with a soggy sweat dollar, then you don’t know real shame. However, this list was born in an attempt to see the bright side of things even when they are not so sunny. Well the bright side of this one? When you come home ick from all the sweat and ready to jump in the shower, it never fails, the pouring out of money that had inevitably been sticking to my body. Hey it’s a stretch, but I do get delighted when I’m like, SWEET I still had 5 dollars on me. Or sometimes ,I don’t know how, I forget all together that I had money in my bra. I can only imagine this is the high that strippers get finding dollars in their underthings. May be a stretch, but on a crummy day, dolla dolla bills ya’ll on the falling on the bathroom floor are all I need to pick me back up ☺

A Change Is Gonna Come....

I could have been posting everyday, the ups and downs of what has been happening, but emotional roller coaster not only sound cliché, it doesn't even BEGIN to describe what I've been going through of feeling. I'll just give you the facts and as austerely as possible.

I'm being taken out of Guayaquil and moved to Sua for safety and security reasons.
This a HUGE change, I was just in Mid Service planning my next year in Guayaquil with the Mujeres, and now that is all changing. You never know what news tomorrow will bring.

Well in this case this has been dragging out for a month. I wasn't sure where I was going or when, and while it has been nuts, I have really great program managers that have I think taken care of the situation better than most people would have.

There have been tears, lots of stress and with all the unknowns hanging over me for weeks, it's been insane.

Now I have definites, so now I'm writing.

Location: Sua, a playa (that means beach and that's a plus) in Esmeraldas...a region I have never been to...It's going to be small town versus the big city I'm used to an aaaalll the changes that go with it...

When: Oct 29th is my official move out day...

In the meantime: I'm packing like a crazy person, STILL have to go to Quito to complete site change paper work and other Peace Corps Business...So I essentially have 3 days to pack up my aparment.

I know it's for the best, but the hardest part was telling the Mujeres I work with. I'm going to miss them SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much I can't even think about it!! I will keep in touch and I just know everything happens for a reason and I just hope and pray that this is the best path for all of us. One of the ladies was saying to look at it in a positive light, that I'm going to get a chance to help another community that may need me even more like I have helped them. I thought that was really sweet for her to say. All of them have said that they are most concerned with my well being and are going to miss me.

That has been the most shocking thing for me actually how much even my site mates are going to miss me. I feel like all I do is go to work and shut myself indoors. I am not half as sunshiney or social as I normally am, so I was surprised at everyones sadness...I thought it was only going to be ME missing Everybody else! Same with the ladies, they are so amazing and have been around for 10 years, so I knew EYE was destroyed with the news, but I didn't know they were going to equally miss me as much. I always planned to have Mujeres de Lucha in my life beyond my time with them, even when I returned to the states, so that still hasn't chanced. My Program Manager said I can still stay in touch and help out a little bit as well.

So that is the news...it's the beginning of my second year in Peace Corps and I'm starting in a completely different location! So lucky for everyone I have started blogging again and you can be a part of this new adventure of mine. Ahroa, I'm packing, saying good bye, and trying to get my wits about myself in this topsy turvy turn of events!

Love and Light

JC

Let Me Count The Ways...Starting From The Top!

So after having another robbing incident I'm pretty *grumble grumble* about Guayaquil and approaching *sick and tired of being sick and tired* status... So In true Sunshine Builder form, I'm going to have to kill Gquil with kindness and count the ways of love that I feel deep (right now so deep I think the love is hidden...) down inside....I may have to extend actually my love list to all of Ecuador...but still...

Guayaquil and Ecuador oh let me count...and continue to count the ways!

#1-Ecuador is a land of SNACKS

Seriously you can get an tortilla de verde on a two hour bus ride to the beach or walk down the street and get some pork on stick with all the fixins. Ecuadorians take their snacking seriously and that is right on time for me! Before you can say "I could use a snack" there is a lady walking around with a wooden try strapped to her shoulders with chifles, maize, canguil, chicles, those delish popcorn things I forget the name and the list goes on. Oh and the deliciousness will cost you cents on the dollar and are packed with flavor. Don't wanna snack? Needing some hot comfort food no problem! People set up their frying skillets on cualquiere corner frying up chancho, chicken, carne empanadas and tortilla everything. I REALLY try to resist most of the time, cause if I let my eyes do the eatin we'd neva stop! But even when I don't partake I always smile pleased that everyone is so for real about getting their snack on ALL the time here.

See feel better already.... Lata folks!

Get This....!

I haven't actually sat down and written in awhile... I love pre posting!

I have a close up look of all of the micro empresas (micro enterprises) coming up, I have posted the pictures but I need to put some words it...Maybe I will today...

Okay, do I give you the long or short version of this story...

I'm so tired and have been sick con gripe, all weekend. Still hacking up a lung and blowing my nose incessantly...that is when I'm not uber stopped up and can't breathe..Ugh...

Other than that it's been quite nice spending the ENTIRE weekend in bed :)

This was going to be a fun weekend full of friends coming to visit for they mental health :) and a race, but since there are people protesting everywhere right now, we have been put on a travel restriction :-X boo hiss. Ah well... next time...

Let me just dive right into the story...(we are going with the long version) 

Get This!!

So at the beginning of the week (can't remember if it was Monday or Tuesday)

It was the end of the day and I was eating lunch minding my business. Usually there are about 6 of there, but today it was only myself, Ms. E and Lottie (I'm giving the alias names cause I'm going to have pictures and I don't want to just have them all out there on the internet ya'mean?) Ms. E makes the us lunch and Lottie is the boss lady :) So per usual I was sitting near the entrance of the gate that you go through to approach the tienda (community store).

When someone walks in we always greet them with a Buenas Dias/Tardes (depending on the time of day) cause that's just the proper Ecuadorian way. So as I slurp my scolding hot soup in the scolding hot sun, like every other day...a gentleman walk through the steel gate doors. I begin my saludo (greeting) only to stop mid sentence as I look at him... Same thing happened to him...he was bout to saludo until he looked at me....and then just kept walking forward to the Tienda....

The guy was unsettling familiar..*I KNOW him* I thought to myself...Of course the memory he conjured up I did NOT want to remember so I just kept on slurpin my soup. Even if it was the worst case scenario, all he's going to do is go to the tienda, buy some eggs or something from Lottie and then be on his way. It's good, now he knows I work with the Mujeres and that'll be that on that. Oooor not.

Instead of leaving like every other customer we have...he sits and is talking to Lottie while she eats her lunch in the tienda. From afar we are both eyeing each other. I was just trying to see what he was doing and what his interaction was with Lottie. Why was he watching ME!? Mmm-hmmm I know why. But I don't wanna be right...

So with out trying to sound suspicious I ask Ms E. what was his affiliation with Lottie. She said he's a guy from the barrio whose fallen on some really hard times and wants to work at one of our establishments. Ooookay. So he goes kinda way back with the Mujeres and he's trying to stay around. That's a concern. We start wrapping up lunch. As usual I have to go into the tienda and get some items to take my food to go because I cannot ever finish all the of the food that Ms E. Gives me. I mean a HUGE bowl of soup (think small punch bowl) and then a moutain of rice with some other side and usually meat (which I also don't want to eat everyday, but that's been an up hill battle) so I gotta walk past this guy to get my tarina (what we put our food in to take home). 

So When I walk up I'm thinking, let me get a better look and I'm sure he's going to do the same... Well I got a good look at him but he was desperately trying to look every which way but at me. Suspect. When I enter the tienda I hear him talking to Lottie. *shudder* Ugh that voice. I know that voice. At this point I'm pretty sure this guy is my ladron (translation: theif/robber..etc) 

Ughhhh no way! What to do NOW? Do I say something? 

I'm not sure, how can I be sure? I know that when people are in traumatic situations their memory recall is less than reliable. It's been proven that eye witnesses to a, say, a car accident, report completely different stories. Color of the car, people who around, what the people involved looked like etc. I KNOW this. But, man, not only that gut feeling, but I know that voice, that jaw line....and why is he actin so shifty? Plus if I say something, I could be talking about one of the Mujeres, cousins, sons, so-in-so-in-law....Do I wanna do that? The ladies have known me for a month. They probably have known him for most of his life...

Also, I've recovered my items. I just got a new phone (way jank, the phone that got jacked was better, but whatever) I got a new Dictionary, I drew myself a planner and then Ms Edie sent me a planner (thanks Mom!) I have re written all of the planning notes the Mujeres and I had written. I got my IDs..well sort of...Soooo It's not like I want to pin him up against the wall and shake him loose of all my stuff. There is no reason. 

Great...so maybe I just won't say anything. Suffer in silence. But is that the way to be when you are trying to create trust and confianza with the Mujeres. No matter what I say I know they wouldn't judge me, and I know if I thought this they would want to know....hmmm...let me just observe more....

So we are closing up the store now, the guy leaves...watching me from afar then averting his eyes when he gets close up (maybe he's shy?) I REally didn't wanna probe more, but I ask Lottie..."So he wants to work in the bakery?" She's like yeah, he's really poor (the Mujeres always talk about how poor they are so for them to call someone else Really Poor is saying something...) I think she said his mom is either sick or just passed away and he wants to work in the bakery. Great a sob story. I have made up my mind. Not saying anything. He's got it rough and if he is my ladron I totally get why he would rob me. THEN Ms. E says.... Ooooh so he's poor, but he doesn't rob people right? 

Lottie raises her eyebrows and is like "SI!" I was like really? She's like yeah, I know he does, a lot people here do when they don't have another way. The door was swinging wide open and it was just us three girls....what's the harm in.... "Sooo I didn't want to say anything but I think that guy is my ladron" Ooooh snap the cats out of the bag now! 

Lottie is like "Are you sure!? Seguro?" I'm like NO I' not sure at all...but I just got the feeling, and his voice is familiar and he won't saludo me and he was watching me from afar and he won't even face me though when I am up close. I thought he was shy, but he was quite chatty with everyone else. 

Oh the other thing I didn't want to do. Is make up my mind he was my ladron and then just see him through those lenses ya know? Like then everything he did would be a "yep see! I knew it!" even if it was really nothing. So I tried not to do that...

Anyway, Lottie was like...well it's possible and he needs to know you work here. I was like well he just saw me here with you all, so no big deal. Happy day, just had to get that out there, let's keep this just between us.

I guess they thought US meant the entire Mujeres de Lucha caaaause when I came in the next day.... It was the topic of discussion. Great! I sure hope he isn't someone's cousin! Everyone is all "You are sure? It's him? Really" No no not sure, just maybe...either way it doesn't matter...I have everything I need and I didn't take it personally. 

Lottie informs me that he's coming back today to see what the answer is about the bakery. I have never known anyone outside of the Mujeres work at any of the micro enterprises. Por supuesto (of course) this guy is getting special treatment...but it's all good. I'm usually at the tienda and the bakery is on a different street and the people that make the bread do it at like 4-6 am or something, so I won't have to see him right? So great.

So Lottie starts telling me that we three need to have a meeting. Please understand also that these are the times that I wish I understood EVERY single word in Spanish, because this is getting to be a sticky situation and it would be difficult in English, but it's a bunch of us ladies, gossip, a clueless gringa, and a possible thief we are dealing with here. It would be the perfect situational comedy. Why don't I have a reality show so my agony and discomfort could actually be fun and entertaining to someone! But alas, this is just a Thursday in mi vida ahora. 

So Lottie is hitting her fist in her hand saying, we need to have a meeting, and we are going to ask him to his face what's the deal and then we are going to tell him that he needs to respect you because you are a Mujeres de Lucha now. You are one of us and he needs to respect you as such. Eeeemmm I'm not confortable with that. Can't we just keep it between us? It's reaaallly not that serious. I wasn't harmed in anyway (except for my own stupidity resisting resulting in an arm bruise and jammed ankle) and I have my stuff now. Plus I get why it happened. I got it back when it happened. When people are in desperate situations, things like this happen.

I'm trying to express this with my horrible spanish. All the other ladies are just co-signing Lottie. Ahhh such an nightmare!!! They are like, so great, when he gets here we'll have the face to face. Has no one understood what I said? I don't want that. It's just going to make us Forever uncomfortable. Cause if he's not my ladron Then, I just accused an innocent guy and no he really isn't going to like me. If it is...is he going admit it to the ladies who can possibly employ him? Not to mention at that face to face I would want to know what everyone is saying, and I know I wouldn't. Pass!

So I'm in the office that's linked to the tienda making phone calls and organizing stuff for the comedor (cafeteria)...and Lottie comes up to me and is like, he's here let's go. I guess I never Really say no to her (i.e. working 6 days a week...I'mma work on that Ya'll!!!) the nice Jen, doormat me, was like you just gotta go, they aren't understanding you, and it's time. but the Me ME was like I.Don't.Want.To....so in fact, I don't know how I'm going to express it, but No means No in Spanish and English so start there!!

I was like I don't want to! I really don't want to! I'm not going to do it, No. I went through the list again. I'm not 100% positive it is him. Either way I don't want to offend him. It's not important to me. I have all the things I need, I wasn't hurt and I didn't take it personally. If we have a standoff it's only going to make it hard for both of us. I also said if it IS him..is it NOt enough from him to have to walk up in here and see that the girl he jacked is actually in his barrio because I'm working with the Mujeres De Lucha, the most respected org on that side of town? I was like it's bastante! He's got his lesson if its for him to get...

After all that ...she's like Bueno...I get it...but then he can't work he can he? Its up to you. I say he can't work here. GREAT another freakin decision on my shoulders. I said that he can. At the time I was like Of course he can! I explained that if he is the ladron, the reason why he is, is not because he's a bad person, it's cause he's poor and desperate and has no other choice. Who ever that guy is outside, is trying to to better with his life and do an honest days work. If we the Mujeres de Lucha are about making this community better wouldn't it be doing the opposite denying him work, based off of a guess......

Lottie just looked at me...and I was like ooohkaaay that didn't make sense...then she says something about my heart and maybe being of gold? And then gives me a big bear hug and says something about what Dios is going to do in my life. So I guess she got it?

(Dad are you reading this and not pleased right now? lol I just had that though. Don't be mad dad!)

So she goes out side...and is like "She said No" I don't know WHO she said that too, I look at one of the ladies....yikes are we good...and she just gives the same crazy face back and just shrugs.

So I'm thinking, bueno, he's going to go off to the panaderia (bakery) and I'll never see that guy again.

Ummmmmmmm no. Why was he hanging out all day. He was running errands for the Mujeres, going to fetch milk, cooking food with Ms. E....and every time he wasn't around...the topic was him being my ladron. So uncomfortable! He never spoke to me and was acting way shady. At one point we were both in the (Comedor) Cafateria. I was talking to Rose about sponsoring a child to eat at the Comedor (you can too but details on that in the comedor post!) then up rolls...Frank we'll call him. He was carrying a bunch of stuff...and me on auto pilot asked did he need help. His reaction was clearly like...Um I'm trying to act like you don't exist and you talking to me has really thrown me off. Me and Rose just look at each other like...weird. 

So then I call my girl to tell her about the maddness...and I'm just hiding out in the office which I never do. It's almost lunch time so I'm like well I'll probably gotta get off the phone to go out and eat by the entrance. Case I know he's hanging out more than any one has ever hung out before, but when it comes to lunch ONLY the Mujeres Eat at the table. Lottie eats in the store to hold down the fort, but NO one eats with us. If they want a lunch they go to the Comedor. So I peak out of the door to see if the coast is clear. Why is THIS dude sitting where I usually sit sippin HIS soup. Awwwww Nawwww. So I just go back in the office asking my girl what do I do NOW... During that time Lily (not to be confused for Lottie) comes and brings me my soup segundos (seconds, i.e. the rice, and that day fried egg) ....soooo everyone is clear. He and I don't want to be near each other. I NEVER eat in the tienda...but I did that day. 

It's way awkward cause usually I'm like hey,I can eat here with Lottie and the Mujeres are like NO you sit at the table. But not that day. Also I know that HE knows I eat there cause he was watching me that first day. So it's obvious the change happened JUST cause he was there. When me and Clementine (one of the ladies I walk with) were leaving we both said Chao and he was saying Bye until he turned around and saw me and then got all weird. ARG! It's sooo weird.

Of course the whole walk Clementine was like your sure right? I'm like NO.I'm.not. And it doesn't matter! She was asking is he the guy with my bolsa...Oh that's another story and another thing (welcome to my stream of consciousness, I love blog writing, no rules)

Okay first off, my main girl Mary hasn't been there all week. I really feel like she's a level headed thinking and maybe could have aided all of us during this maddness but she had thangs to do this week. Anyway, the same week I got robbed (Cause was on a monday) Mary and I were taking the bus somewhere and a guy got on the bus selling milk! My eyes got huge and I was like that's my bag! It was the little bag that Peace Corps had given us that had my IDs and flash drive and 30 cents in it. The same knot the same dirty, the same bag I looked at everyday since I had been in Ecuador. She's like oh that's the guy!? I was like m I don't thnk so he seemed, shorter, lighter, jaw not so defined. I was like maybe his friend or something, but I don't think that's the guy, but that is So my bag. 

So the Mujeres keep asking. Is Frank the guy I saw on the bus with my bag? I'm like no it's not him...cause logically he got the stuff to sell not to keep. One of us being fluent in either Spanish or English would REALLY help right now, but that would be tooooo easy.

Friday I had a meeting and Saturday I was sick so I didn't go to the barrio...so I have some decisions to make about this week coming up.

I thought the guy would be gone out of my hair and someone I never saw. I also was hoping it was my imagination and he would treat me normal, like speak, allow me to speak to him and not be shifty acting. None of these wishes have come true. So. We Do need to have a talk (as usual Lottie is right...that woman is always right...) now I dont know if I should just catch him maybe when a ton of people aren't around and try with my horible Espanol make amends? Or have Lottie do the talking and have an awkward 3 way convo? Do those ever work? Ugh that really sounds uncomfortable to me.

I think I'm going to prepare something short and simple to say, make amends and hope we can just moooooove forward....

Thanks for sticking with this post.... I was just writing as I thought...lol as usual.

Don't be worried for my safety. It really is an advantage any way you look at it that he knows I work with the Mujeres. That is the whole point of people walking me in and out of the barrio, so people see me with them and know that I am one of them. He's going to spread the word either way. I'm safer now than I have ever been. He also knows or whoever my ladron is, knows I don't have money so what's the point. I go to my barrio with next to nothing...and all that I have is stuff in various places that you can't see. I don't feel as though I'm in any danger, but I do feel that I'm missing a opportunity to build a relationship if I continue to have this staticky relationship with this guy. 

The point of Peace Corps is to have an exchange, so that's what we should be doing. I KNEW this story wasn't over and I knew that I was going to see this guy again. Why do EYE have to be right even when I don't want to!? 

So wish me luck all....Here goes nuthin....

Labor Day Blues...Just when I thought it couldn´t get worse...

Was totally robbed on Monday. So upset. Was not harmed in ANYWAY. No weapons or anything. Just a broken heart. Things that only have value to me, like my PLANNER and things were taken. My phone however was part of the robbery so I don´t have phone and will probably have new number later, so just keeping everyone informed. This is clearly the making of Gangsta J.... Midwest/Tinsel Town Mentality no mas. Gotta get with these mean streets. Wish me luck, send your prayers and remember I´M OKAY!! Don´t worry!

Guayaquil

I´m back from my site visit and don´t know really what to report. I was going to try to have Wikipedia do everything for me but here Wiki was in Español. Okay do you want the good news or bad news first? Okay I´ll just get the bad news stats about Guayaquil out of the way. It´s kinda way dangerous. You have to your pilas about yourself. Robberies are really big...so I had money in my bra, in my little satchel thing, I had my bank card in my right shoe under the my insole thing, and an extra ten in my left. So even if my satchel got stolen I wouldn´t be down an out. My friend Jen wrote emergency numbers inside of the tongue of her tennis shoe. Yeah we were getting down like that. Take that G-quil robos. All of the volunteers that I talked to while there have most definitely been either held at gun point or knife (point?). So that´s uber scary. But they have techniques of getting out of the situation without getting shot or harmed. Peace Corps goes through GREAT lenghts to make sure that we are beyond prepared to live in these cities and if you estar pilas then they support you all the way. Like if I got held and gunpoint and have to give up my decory money and cellphone, Peace Corps will reimburse me because my life is more important than those things. I don´t know how other people make it but, as a PCV I feel well protected and support. On the flipside, we are responsible for our own safetly. I´m going to be so street savvy in dos años! I grew up in a place where we don´t even lock our doors...so it´s an adjustment. I´m up for the challenge. The public transportation right now to me is INSANE I´m sure if I lived in NYC I would be more accustomed, but since everything is in Spanish and my big city experience is LA where we drive everywhere. I am muy overwhelmed with it all. Que mas? My host family is 180 degrees different than my family here in Cayambe. Which I am happy about. I was not going to be able to fall in love with another family. In G-quil, my host landlandy is just that, I rent a room from her, she works all day long, she has a son who is so sweet and helpful and they don´t cook any meals. They saved me a shelf in the fridge and they are like fend for yourself. I prefer that. No pressure to eat heaping plates of food. Since the ladies I work with cook such huge lunches I think that´s going to serve as lunch and dinner.

Que mas, que mas, I wish I had organized this but I didn´t. So G-quil is peligroso but I´m in good hands. My living sitch is nice. No pressure and the accomadations are nice. I have a shower, a flushing toilet, a soft grande cama, I have a TV but I´m not going to watch it, I have a fan which is really great in the hot city. It´s like normal room. I have bats outside of my window and there is a liiiitttlle bit of a roach sitch in the kitchen, but I didn´t really go in there for the 4 days I was there. All in all it´s a sweet deal and no one can replace my Cayambe family. I´ll be in touch with them for ever and really think of them as my second fam.

Let´s get to the best part of my trip. The Good News. Mujeres De Lucha. That is the organization of Afroecuadorian Women I will be working with. The name translates to Women of Struggle. I absolutely love love love them already. It´s a task and a challege. I don´t even understand what they are saying but they do great work and are muy amable. Maybe actually I will do a post just about them, because they are that special. The whole point is that there are some challenges about living in Guayaquil but I´m so up for it because I´m SO excited for my project. I think even when I return to the states I will want to be involved somehow, but that´s in two years. I need to just figure out what they are saying lol. They are just like my family, my aunts, cousins, sisters and mothers all talking at once and cracking up. It´s great fun.

The barrio I work in is also supposed to be kind of dangerous, but the women I work with are well known and after I¨ve been seen with them a lot around the neighborhood I will be fine. I feel safer in my barrio than the mean streets of G-quil already. While a lot of people will work and live in their same community my set up is a bit different. My barrio isn´t safe enough for Peace Corps standards especially after dark, so I can come and work and then leave and go to my house in G-quil. When I pictured my time in the peace corps I imagined myself on a dirt road sitting on the porch of my grass house waving to my neighbors that I work with. It´s a bit different than that romantic vision. I actually report to work everyday and then leave at night. I have so much to say but I can´t free style on this blog anymore.

Coming attractions:
Mujeres De Lucha
Otra Cosas Part III
Maybe some pictures....(all old)

Otra Cosas

Some random things...

I´m totally rocking the Peace Corps Chic styles. I miss my silver flats, jeans everyday and of course daskikis (although they DID make the trip!) I´m wearing tennis shoes everyday, khaki´s or black pants, some times I break down and wear jeans and layed polos over long sleeved shirts or even better button down shirts (which no longer fit over my potatoe and arroz body!). Porque I am en the mountains hace frio! So we have to layer, but we have to wear our semi professional clothes. I think I look frumpy..but es beuno.

Who and this HAIR! What am I gonig to do. My twists are hanging on by a thread...aaand that thread happens to be my hair. Sigh. No time for hair. Must.learn.Spanish.

Safety. I didn´t know this but since Ecuador (like everywhere) is havinga financial crisis and the crime is at a all time high! Everyday we get a presentation about how stay safe. So I usually carry a huuuuge bag, but now we have to tuck stuff in our pants, bras whatever to keep it under wraps. We are told how to act look. Everything. I hope this helps me get some street smarts. You´ll never know I grew up in a safe little neighbor hood in the Lou by the time this is all over.

Oh and I hear there is salsa here!! Since we can´t go anywhere by ourselves...how and where I´ll find it, no se, pero I WILL.

Mas later!