My Haunted House…

If I haven’t said it already, I love my apartment. Even with barely anything in it it felt like my home. Now that I’ve lived in it more, it feels even more like home. I feel truly thankful for that. Having said that… there is a flip side to my blissful living. My house is haunted. Not by your regular fantasmas (ghosts) but mystery winged roaches!!! Dios MIO!!! I used to call them beetles but that would be too lucky. I think this are cucarachas and these bad bos have wangs!

Okay an infestation problem may be inconvenient but lets not go as fas to call it a haunting shall we? Oh WE SHALL. It’s the strangest thing. These winged beasts play with my head you see… They only show up when I’m gone or have gone to bed, they only show up in the same two places (by my toilet or by the bathroom door) and they are ALWAYS without a doubt DEAD! It’s the ca-raziest thing. It went for inconvenient to driving me crazy. When I would be gone for a weekend there would be two…like one for each day. When I was gone for four days. Four. Lying dead…all in a row by the toilet. Dead. When I wake up sometimes there is one…lying there…like whoooo wee did I have fun in Your bathroom last night…yep just feet from where you lay your head to rest. BEAST!

People tell me to fumigate. I bought some Raid..but it’s lame, cause well…they are already dead you see…. Sometimes it makes me feel better but my actions are all in vain. Well, recently they have been showing up in OTHER places. So now I’m like oh helltothenaw.com this can’t be. UNDER my bed once. By my yoga mat and guitar (i.e. the quiet mind corner that cannot HAPPEN!) and outside of my bedroom door. Always dead. Thank God! But seriously get outta here!! So I started problem solving. When I had to go away for Reconnect I was like do not want 5 new friends in my apartment when I got back.


When I have people come over I have them inspect my place and place their bet on where they think the beasts are coming from…no one ever knows. Once a Vol closed a crack in my window and I thought that was it. I lived in peace for a week….then one dead friend showed up making the mystery deepen. People also ask me about them now like they are my kids “Soooo how are your little winged monsters?” ,“Seen your friends lately?” Um No…we cannot be closely associated like that.

Anyway, While taking my shower before leaving I realized around the pipes in the wall there were opening. Big enough for the winged beasts to get into. …. I decided to duct tape around that. I actually set up a few duct tape boobie traps too just to play out some theories…only thinking later as I was on the bus like…if my boobie traps catch them…I’m gonna have to unstick the tape with a dead beast on it!!

So spend a glorious week in Cuenca…and return to my crib. There was a mansoon before we left…which is when I discovered that my roof leaks….So I thought I was coming home to pools or water, crickets (who love the rain and eating clothes) and winged beasts. I unlock my door and kick it open FBI style…nothing… peer into my kitchen…nada…sweet…but that’s not the real test…I kick open the door to my bed room (might as well had my hands in a pretend pistol position) look left right ..nothing…the real test…The Bathroom….Yay! Nothing!! Whoo hooo I solved the mystery!!!

Days later…

Dead.Winged.Beast.

For weeks after same thing… not only the same thing… this is when they really started showing up in different places.

*Just a note people , you should be happy about these bugs cause THEY are how I KNOW I’m coming back to the US. All of you that say I’m going to stay here forever or extend my time. It’s these crazies, alone, that make me sure that while I’m enjoying my time here…I’m not stayin past my regularly scheduled program. *

Anyway, when I had to leave again for Quito, I was like what else can I duct tape? The toilet!! It made perfect sense it’s connected to the ground and they could be coming from there. I thnk they end up dead cause there is a garden surrounding the walls of my apartment. I know they have pestisides and stuff… and to cross over that to get to my place I think they are at the edge of life by then. Anyway, I ducted taped my toilet and left again. Came back…NADA!! They know what I’m thinking… Maybe they are just messing with me. That was a week ago…and I haven’t had an incident yet…We’’ll see…..

Oh you thought I was done with that hauntings…Well try waking up to low moaning scary voices that escalate into screams. Yes Screams! At 4 in the morning it was hard for me to comprehend what that was. It wasn’t sounding all that human…but other worldly yes. And ALLL night long! I just would put in headphones and go to sleep already knowing my house was haunted. It wasn’t until I woke up to what only could be described as what the world coming to a rapid end would sound like. Again at 4 in the morning a deep loud rumbling, maybe crumbling sound that at first I thought was an earth quake…. Since I jolted up the room was definitely shaking…or was that just my head? Anyway, once I got myself , and the screams and rumbling came together I realized that it wasn’t the end of the world it was two cats scrapping it out on my tin roof!! My word! Who knew that’s what it would ever sound like? It’s awful. That explains the screams too. Have you ever heard cats go at it when they are doing their mating or warning call or whatever it is they do. Low moan into a scream roar? Well my bathroom has this open screened window that they love to go at it. Right. There. Oh how do I know? Cause when I go to the bathroom having been woken up, there little white and gray faces are there peering at me! Which further scares the crap out me! Lookin at me like..what are YOU doin up? Lord help me! Lol.

So that’s my journey into the hauntings of my house. Stay tuned for updates…



This is Nerves of Steel Signing off!