Our deepest fear isn't that we're inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we're powerful beyond measure

Friday, September 23, 2011

5 Ways I'm Still the Same

Earlier in the Week I listed a few ways that I had definitely changed as a result of living here as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ecuador. Well, here I present to you...

5 ways I am still the same old me!


1. I still Love my planner. - while I can go with the flow, I definitely still love to make my list, I rely on my planner and I actually still make plans even though I know the people around me aren't as steadfastly scribbling in their own agendas. I see now that after all this time this is a habit/ritual/personality trait that isn't going away.

2. In that same vein, I still look at my watch. Even though I know time isn't honored or monitored in the same way, I still find myself asking "what time is it" to which most people do not know because it doesn't matter. Sure it matters if it's the mañana (morning) or the tarde (afternoon), generally speaking, but that fact that it's 2:37 definitely does not matter to anyone but me. I don't know I always care what time it is, but I guess that's just my US ways drilled into my being.

3. I still love my "me" time. - Here the culturally appropriate thing to do is to never walk alone, be alone and to always chop it up with your neighbors. Me? I love having ME time. Time to sit by myself and do whatever is my hearts content. In fact if I don't get that time I get anxious and irritable. After ALL this time I should have been able to get with the program of being around people all the time (especially as a single female because that's the expectation) and while I've gotten better with being "neighborly" I still love/require my "me" time.

4. Language Resistance - While I do give myself a shout out for being able to communicate in Spanish, I feel like my brain is VERY resistant against taking the full plunge into the language. I live in a country where Spanis his spoken Everywhere All The Time. This isn't one of those countries that while Spanish is the official language you hear plenty of English too. I very much still form my thoughts in English and then try to translate them into Spanish before speaking. When will I start dreaming in Spanish? When will my thoughts flow in Spanish first and not require the extra step of translating? In thinking along the lines of Zhaungzi I feel at some point I should go from a Volunteer who is translating English thoughts to Spanish, to a Spanish thought that is Expressing itself as a Volunteer. Ha! Hey, it's a stretch but that's the only way I can explain how I feel about it :)

5. Style! I want some! I have spent two years wearing frumpy, hole-filled threads to deflect attention, appear modest and stay thrifty. Well, lately that has just depressed me. I know in a machismo filled society I shouldn't be showing my knees or wear anything that would even give a hint to my shape, but how many times can you a) be asked if you're pregnant and b) wear the same tent like gear before you go nuts. I'm going to the states soon and I think I am going to have to upgrade my wardrobe for the next year. I am going to try to make it as modest and non attention grabbing as possible, but man girls just wanna have fun and I want to have some style! (materialistic american much?) Hey I can have only 5 outfits, I just don't want those 5 outfits to be tents, trash bags and maternity wear!

The end :)

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