I Need A Tutor!!!!

Alright, I'm just out of my first three months and I really hung in there but now I NEED A TUTOR.

I can barely read in Spanish, my communication is sooo limited and when I'm trying to rally my ladies together and get them to focus I really need language on my side! We have so many miscommunications everyday that sometimes I feel like I'm doing them more of a disservice than helping them!

'They' say the first three months is the hardest, 'they' say just hang in there your first three months and then see how you feel.

Well I did and I'm dying for a tutor. I know I have improved probably exponentially and I promise I celebrate myself and those small victories but lets be honest. I really didn't have a Spanish background (SO should have taken it in College....) so of course I have improved, but the fact that I don't understand really anything of what people are saying, I can't express myself, I can't read, I can't really spell and since I don't know how most words are spelled I don't pronounce them right therefore I'm speaking badly and the cycle goes on. I'm sure if I just get some academics in my life, you know some formulas, some rules a touch of grammar I can continue to fumble along a wee bit more effectively.

Everyone thinks I'm being dramatic because, well, we all feel the same way, we all feel our language could be better...and we're right... but my skills right now are uber weak and me getting a tutor doesn't mean I'll blast off to perfection. It'll still be a lot of work and poco a poco, but I will be able to figure things out better.

So our language coordinator in Quito is super awesome and really supportive and at first gave us Rosetta Stone again (for those who asked) but only until Nov 15th!!!! Wha? So he just told me I can look for either an enligh/spanish exchange or a tutor and IF the price is right, then Peace Corps will support me.

Sigh. Thank you!

So The search is on. Wish me luck, send your prayers and keep your fingers crossed cause mama needs a tutor and BAD!!

Xoxox

Break In Case of Emergency/Light at the End of The Tunnel Part Duex

A Month by Month Break Down of things I know I have to look forward to in order to make the hard days just pass away....

November- Por supuesto Thanksgiving
I knew Thanksgiving was going to be fun because one of the girls in Guayaquil stated early on she is very serious about her Thanksgiving so we were very serious about making this a fun one. As it's turning out, good friend PCVs are coming to town. Some of gringa connections are also having some fun activities. The US Consul and the American School are having Feasts and Flag Football! We are going to be eating non stop from Wednesday night to Sunday Morn, we are going to be playing out in the field and having fun time slumber parties. Nov has come with its challenges but what a great light to have at the end of the tunnel right?

December- Navidad! I thought this was going to bring my first group of visitors but it turns out that isn't possible. Which is okay cause it is still New Apartment Month. My first month of real privacy and freedom! Yay I never have to put on pants or a bra to go to the kitchen ANYMORE! ooops sorry TMI. Look people its HOT here! Also, I am excited about all the fun Christmas activities we are going to be doing in the barrio. Plus December is the LAST month of 2009! This has been such a crazy, different, off, zany year for everyone and now it's over. I remember Jan 2009 like it was yesterday. Time waits for no (wo)man, that's all I know. It's an exciting milestone

Then already it's 2010!!!
I look at 2010 as the "the long haul" If I make it through 2010 the rest of my service is a cake walk. It's really all about 2010. '09 was getting trained and getting acquainted. 2010 is about really getting into projects, making a life here in Guayaquil, getting my travel on and really just taking advantage of my time here...

2010 Lights-

January- New Years! My birthday! Reconnect-An event where we travel to a location and all of the PCVs get together and discuss their progress so far. Reconnect will really be a validate our time here thus far I think. Its a week long so it will be fun to have that break and see everyone.

February- I was giving myself time get adjusted before I dove into my hobbies. I'm so tired at the end of the day I didn't know how I would do it. But now that Reconnect is over and it's time for The Long Haul I'm about to get my Dance Dance Dance ON! Feb is when I'm going to start taking dance classes at this one place I found. I think the adult classes "tropical" dances (that's what they call it) but I think it's all the Latin based favorites, salsa, merengue, bachata and other stuff I can't pronounce. I'm still looking for a modern and maybe ballet class as well. Also, Jan/Feb is going to be when EYE start teaching dance and wellness classes!!!

January-April- Marks The duration of my classes I will be teaching where I get to work with the youth in the barrio. I think this is really going to brighten my days and give me a sense of purpose. I need to remember to still be getting my travel on! Oh I forgot to mention I also REALLY hope to be getting some tutoring at this point!

May - My mama is comin to see her baby!! I have also been invited to Miami for a very important bbday bash :) Maybe May will be a wooo-sah break month to exhale after my classes with the niños y jovenes.

June- Marks a year I've been in Ecuador what can be better than that?

July- Will probably do some fun 4th of July stuff will probably visit the new kids on the block that will be starting training and visit my Cayambe Family. (all this time, I'm still enjoying Everyday with the Mujeres, Improving my language, making good on some projects I have started and dancing it up!)

August- A YEAR of being an official PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER. We have our Mid Service event where we AALLL get together and I simply cannot wait for this! This is really going to be a grand moment for us. This is another real light at the end of the tunnel. I know it seems like so now we have another whooole year to go, but I KNOW after August time is going to really zip on by.

Sept-December- Apply what we learned at Mid Service (we get new ideas to implement from the PC staff during the event), Now is the time where I get to improve upon what I kinda messed up the year before. The Mujeres have event that they do every year. Well Sept of 2009 I was clueless and could barely speak. I'm hoping by Sept 2010 I can be real asset to the events such as Day of Nutrition in Oct, be instrumental in the Thanksgiving donations this year, and really contribute to the Navidad celebration now that I know what one looks like and how they get down! Really excited for a second go at these things :)

2011!! Already!

January- Family reunion in Orlando! My first officially planned US trip (we'll see about May '10) and of course New Years and 30th!! Birthday!

Feb-April- My last time teaching my classes gotta make it great!

okay so here's the deal. Right now I want to apply to be a co-trainer. Our co-trainers were awesome and fun and really added so much to our training experience. A Co-trainer is a volunteer who is currently serving in country who wraps up their service three months early to assist with a new incoming group. So remember those three months I had training in Cayambe? Well there were people that wrapped up their service early to be there with us. After we swore in, they left and returned to the US. IF I am able to be a co-trainer... Theeen...

May- is all about wrapping up my service officially!!

June-August- Will be training with a new Omnibus and COS ...Close OF Service. And then....just like that...the whole thing is over. Sad huh?

There are soooo many variables in all of that too.Peace Corps offers committees we can join, who knows the friends I'll meet, what opportunities that are going to rise. Something new pops up EVERYDAY with the Mujeres. Who knows who is going to be able to come to Ecuador and see lil ol me. Then there is just the new and strengthening of friendships here...the skys really the limit. This is just an outline skeleton of the most boring dull thing that can happen. Not too shabby! Anything added will only bring more excitement. So for the complete list of aforementioned reasons....my "super bad I can't do this anymore, I'm SERIOUSLY going to lose it on the next guy that hisses at me, tells me he loves me in poorly spoken English, or makes a kissy sound at me crap days"...are just bad days, because I know I have SO much to look forward too.

Peace and Blessings!!

Break In Case of Emergency Part I - Explanation

Peace Corps, a 27 month commitment. We all knew that when we singed up. True. However with all things, they are never what they seem. Also, when you apply saying, "Hey, I'm ready for something different, bring on the challenge!" Well that's pretty vague and it's just a notion. Oh and on top of that, "I really want to learn a new language!" as if just simply being in an area allows you to painlessly absorb vocabulary, ability to conjugate, comprehend and interpret words, and pick up on cultural subtleties. Bueno, needless to say there are some Challenges with a capital "C". I definitely was looking for a change of pace, wanting to partake in a different culture, learn a new language and, yes, be challenged :)

Well, there is technique that all of us PCVs have in common that we inevitably use from time to time and that is: when the going gets tough, the tough gets COUTING lol. Whether it's counting down the days to when a friend or family member is going to visit, counting down the days when you planned your next trip...which could be waiting at just at the other end of the week or the ubiquitous counting down your two years. I know I feel so SHAME even saying IT! But it happens everywhere, every volunteer everywhere does this countdown at some point.

Don't get me wrong, it's not about being eager to leave. Just when you think you can't take no mo' sometimes it puts things into perspective. So I made myself a Break In Case Of Emergency List...when I feel like the days are dragging on and I'm making no progress and I can't take not another DAY!! Wanna see it!?

First of all, I must have made it in September (after getting robbed...def a "how much longer am here?" moment lol) but now it's the middle of November and I can hardly keep up with time as it whizzes by!! I am VERY aware how short 2 years really is and I think that is why I CONTINUE to work 6 DAYS a week!! I can't stop myself. I so badly want to integrate, make a difference and soak up every second of my experience that I never stop go, go, GOING! I know this is going to be over before I know it and that's what I'm thinking most of the time. This is just for the days when someone has pulled your last card and you are "so over it!"

Every PCV knows to just have something to look forward to every month (sometimes ever week when it gets really tough) helps pass the challenging times. The old Light at The End of the Tunnel trick :) I'll break down what my months look like, but in an upcoming post so that it's not soooo long :)

Apartment Search

Okay every month usually has a light at the end of the tunnel and a challenge or project to work on at the same time. Well as always I have a ton of stuff going on with the Mujeres, but I actually have a personal project that must be completed by the end of November. That project ladies and gentlemen is the great apartment search. To your weary eyes delight, I haven't written about this sooner so you are spared hearing about various days I went out in the smoldering heat, walking around tirelessly, looking for alquilar signs only to have miss after miss after miss. Oh what the heck...here's a quick look of what it's like...

When you are walking around looking up at buildings to see if they have a sign in the window, it makes you look lost. If you are a gringa and you look lost then you get attention making the daunting task even more annoying blah. (attention usually in the form of hombres wanting some of YOUR attention double blah) Usually you have to check the number on the sign and then call the number even if you are right at the building and could just knock. People want the call. All of us HATE talking on the phone in Spanish because it's just SO difficult. You have no facial cues, can't read lips, no body language and then phones you know all the subtle sounds don't get through and you need every clue you can get. Plus pulling your phone out on the street is never recommended...especially after you were observed seeming lost to those around you observing..eye roll... Welcome to my life people. Simple tasks are now so hard. Hard tasks...those are like impossible and no matter what, you are ALWAYS being watched. If you are female then you are getting the hissy, kissy, yicky calls from the hombres, and on the wrong day that can reeeeeaaaaalalalalallllly get on your last nerve and make you feel like you are going to snap. It's not awesome.

So anyway in general those are how those days went. Then there was the Saturday that i found the most awesome most beautiful furnished apartment with two bedrooms and bathrooms and even a nice duena and everything. We talked aaallll day and I missed worked and missed hanging with my friend and shopping for costumes that day. Only to find out days later... there is water in the floor so I can't move there. The place was worth twice what our limit is, but she was willing to cut it in half for me cause she just wanted a nice person up there and I came based on a recommendation. Sigh...Oh well. I tell myself a) that was the nicest place I've ever seen and if I moved in there I probably would never leave Ecuador b) it would have been the party house for sure without a doubt and I really would have no right to not let it be cause there was sooo much rooooom c) I seem to keep to one or two room and I didn't really need all that space to myself. Did I mention I probably would have neeeever left?

Yeah. So the newer and might I add the very first place I saw and I liked is the one I'm going with. The only reason I even continued a search was because who goes with the first place they see? I was just trying to make sure! Since another Volunteer almost moved in to that apartment it has been pre approved so I THOUGHT I could just move in. Found out this week that is so not the case. It needs new locks on the bedroom door and the outside door. It needs a Metal Door installed!! and I need to cover the hole in the bedroom wall were an AC unit is supposed to go. We PCVs can't afford AC units... Also, I was under the impression that PC pays for these items since they are the ones saying we need it. No and No. We pay for them and if we don't get them, we can't move into the place. Drat! Our PM is coming the last day of November. So that means I have until then to either get these upgrades done or I can't move! If I don't move then when can I move? Whenever the PM can come down again but its annoying for them because they schedule their apartment approval trip in advance so that everyone has their stuff together. If they come and have to come back just for an individual, best believe they are in no hurry to do that. My dueña as sweet as she is, rents a room as a business, so I do'nt think my extra days here would be all that appreciated either.

So needless to say I gotta get that going sooner than later. So picture it. I gotta go tell the ladies that own the place. I need you to install a door, put up something to cover this hole and you need to change the locks BEFORE I move in, before I can sign a contract and before I can pay basically. Who does that!? Then I gotta convey this in SPANISH? Let's be real. Sigh. Also, this building wants 3 months rent as a deposit which Peace Corps doesn't support. I was hoping my PM could help me negotiate that when she comes...but by the time she comes I would have needed to get those upgrades!

So either I just pay for the 3 months, have NO money to actually by a bed, stove and fridge and stuff...but at least have my own place... or....yeah...I'm still working on my options.... our PCVL (3rd year volunteer that helps us little freshman out ;oP) is going to come with me on Friday to see what we can work out...I guess I need to post that this week for this to make any sense :) Cool...

Wish me luck and stay tuned!

Halloween

I have fallen so behind in blogs... I have ideas of stuff to write, but I'll never stop writing if I do them all. I wish you all were here for every moment! It's a daily adventure, comedy, drama series. Something I couldn't even write about you just had to be there. I'm sure a lot of it I still have yet to discover as usually the joke is on me.

One event I guess I can pick out is Halloween. Now while here in scary Guayaquil I feel older than ever. Not only am I just older than a lot of my Volunteer friends, but they seem to be WAY more fun than me too! lol. I know to anyone who knows me is like what? Not you J "where's the party at" Cov lol but it is SO true. All I think about when I'm in the loud busy streets getting hissed and kissed at my the men in the street, is my room and my bed. It's my perfect safe haven. I'm not sure if its fear or age or a deadly mixture of both :)

Either way my fun friends had been talking about Halloween aaaalll month. I kept saying don't care what we do, don't really want to do anything and I'm not spending a lot on a costume. I KNOW so grumpy old lady right!?!? Told ya! My poor new friends have to put up with me daily. Anyway. Long story short (too late!) We all were going to Cuenca to meet up with a bunch of Vols for a party but then we 102ers (the equivalent to the freshman class of Volunteers here in Ecuador) couldn't go because we are still in our first three months in our sites so that means no vacation days. Don't ask.

So I was like great i'm staying here, everyone that's wants to party is going somewhere else and everybody is happy. Wrong again! Another long story short. The Gquil folks got the spirit to kick it and friend new by got the word and felt the vibe and came ready to ppaarrtaaay. Now turns out Halloween weekend turned out to be one of my absolute worst as far as my Spirit goes, but that was just due to stress and not honoring myself. Besides that it was a fun time. I cannot go into all the drama and shenanigans that went on that Saturday and into Sunday trying to get costumes (ugghghghg) mega slumber parties and what not. But we went to a 3 story club that was just like being on the MetroVia when it's so crowded if you jump you wouldn't land back on the ground cause it's so stuffed. Sounds pretty undesirable huh? Yeah, maybe, but we had fun. I was a...well... I was "sporty" for Halloween. Didn't want to spend a dime so I wore my busted tennis shoes, my bright green knee socks, and my soccer shorts from the 4th of July futbol game in Cayambe, my selecion camiseta that every good Ecuadorian has and then I put those smudge marks under my eyes like football players do. Which makes no sense...but it just made me look Sportier... Whateves.

We had a major slumber party at my crib which is always fun. And then actually skipped town for the day, but I had a TON of stuff to do in the coming week and I REALLY I mean REALLY paid for it the whole week ugh. I was trying to not be such an old fogie (sp?) but hey if the shoe fits...I knew I was going to be paying for it too so I wasn't able to enjoy myself like I really wanted to. but it was good being around my girls so all in all it was a success. If pics of Halloween ever surface I'll add it to this blog.

The weekend AFTER Halloween, friends that are teachers at the Colegio Americano (the American School) had a big costume birthday bash the weekend after. The Theme was Heroes and Villians. Well "Generic Sporty Person" is no Hero! Again, I had that busy week that I was talking about and had no time to rethink a costume. I can always pull out "hippie" from my wardrobe...So I put on my Peace sign tank top my mom sent me (love it thanks mom!) my flare leg jeans...this sash from the Sierra and a scarf around my head. Now how do I make hippie a hero. I I was like I'll be Janis Joplin. But looking at me...it didn't really translate...I was looking more Jimi than Janis. So when people I asked what I was... I said I was the off spring off Janis (hero) and Jimi (hero) which makes me a super hero! Right? Looking at pictures I could have just been "Peace Personified" that's a hero if I ever have known one right?




Chao Gente!

Estoy Aqui!

Hola Loved Ones,

Just wanted to send a quick note to let you know I am still here and kickin. I knew when it was the last week in October and I didn't have my post already written I was going to fall behind in my blogs.... I kinda wanna get it done tonight, but I kinda feel like this is a go to bed at seven and wake up the next day kinda night. So i'm going to honor myself, and study a bit then go to bed... Just know I'm here, life is still challenging, exhausting, but good. Life is for the living right? So stay tuned updates to come!

Xoxoxo