I know I should be giving minute by minute updates but there
has just been so much going on. When am I going to post the pictures of all of
the special events we’ve had, swimming parties, me teaching recycled art class
and “field trips” to the mall? I have no idea. The sad truth is they just may
not get posted.
That’s what I’ve been dealing with lately. When I came here
3 years ago I had a monton (think: mountain) of things I wanted to do, but as
my time is winding down I have been working on acceptance. Acceptance that I
have done all that I could do and now it’s time for the next chapter of my
life. I keep coming up with new ideas, projects or just things I wanted to do
but never got to, or never got to complete.
I was making myself (and the kiddos) craaaazy by pushing
them extra hard just because “I only had a few months left”. I thought I was
getting a replacement volunteer that but that fell through.
Since June I have been filled with a profound sadness that I
wasn’t expected. I would well up with tears on my way to the Aldea thinking of
how there are some kids I will never see again. The thing that gets me is that
I just so much want them to be happy, safe and successful (in however they
define that for themselves). I worry about them and care for them and that is why it tugs at my heart strings.
I also feel guity because my peeps back home are like “You’re
SAD!? cause you’re long overdue to be back on U.S. soil”. Believe me, not a day goes by that I don’t miss my
family, I mean my family and friends in the U.S is really the only reason why I’m
coming home, otherwise I could probably get a job at the bar across the street
and live on the beach forever. I just know how to get in touch with my family
but some of the kids and I will lose touch forever and we’re talking over 100
kids so that’s a lot of little individual connections lost.
Of course just like with everything and everyone in our
lives. We cross paths for a reason and for a season. They have impacted me in a
huge way and I can only hope I’ve done the same for them, even if on a smaller
scale.
After having cried it out earlier this week, I’m feeling
strong again to be able to sad bye and wish everyone well. I want to write
letters to each of the teens in my youth group so that they can remember all
the things I tell them over and over again. It’s going to be hard digging deep
emotionally AND writing it in Spanish, but I think it’ll be worth it.
I am not sure what I’m going to get everyone else, or how to
say thank you to all the madres, tias and office staff that work there.
Hopefully a big hug and a smile will be sufficient J
This month I will try to blog at least each week to make
this a finale of sorts.
August 24th is my last day working at the Aldea
so it’s coming up Super soon.
Wish me luck!!!
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